


Behind Closed Doors

by CalledMyHappiness



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Gen, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-14
Updated: 2020-09-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:28:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 11,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26455669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CalledMyHappiness/pseuds/CalledMyHappiness
Summary: Lee Ji Hoon has been the cornerstone of seventeen ever since their pre-debut days. On stage, he shines brighter than any other diamond but off-camera, he’s hiding a secret that could drastically change not only his life, but of those around him. One day, the inevitable happens and his greatest secret came to light.Now Seventeen was facing their biggest challenge yet, as a group and as a family.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 10





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I uploaded this a while back on AFF (my username on there is empresspeach). But I rarely visit there ever since I started here so I'm moving it here! I'll still keep it up on there but will most likely be updating future updates here.
> 
> Characters, names, and events used in the story do not belong to me! All rights to the names belong to Seventeen and Pledis and used in this story as inspiration purposes only.
> 
> This was my very first fic ever on any site so I hope you guys like it. :) It's what brought me to love writing fics. 
> 
> Thank you very much and I hope you have a nice day! :)

“AAAAAND CUT! That’s a wrap for today, good job boys!”

After 8 long hours, the filming for their anniversary album jacket has come to an end. It’s been 5 years since Seventeen has debuted and they’ve been nothing but soaring high. After securing their very first daesang last awards season, the boys kicked it into high gear making this album to thank their fans for getting them this far. Of course that also meant double time for Woozi.

After months of all-nighters trying to finish the album’s tracks, recording sessions with each individual member, mixing and editing the tracks, he was due for a well-deserved break; even if it is just for a week. The others were going out for a celebratory drink right after the shoot. Woozi, as usual declined the invitation in favor of just staying home.

**Hoshi:** Ya, Woozi-ah. It might do you some good to go out for once. Come on, it’ll only be for a few hours.

**Jeonghan:** He’s right. You’ve been cooped up in your studio for far too long. it’s about time to feel non-air conditioned air for once.

**Woozi:** Nah, it’s fine. I can’t drink anyways and I want to take one final run through all the tracks before I send the final tracks to the publishers.

S.Coups looked at Woozi with a worried face, the same one he’s given since their trainee days. But this time it was different. He could feel something was wrong. He’s been off these past few days, quieter and weaker. The sinking feeling in his stomach never went away, but he has since stopped trying to figure it out. He did try back then, asking him in passing as to not evoke any wrong impressions. But Woozi would just shrug it off and change the subject. He finished packing up and resolved to finding out soon, when promotions ended and they’re all in a better mindset.

They arrived at the dorm an hour later and the ones leaving to go drink dropped their things off in their room and started to pile into the waiting van downstairs. Woozi plopped into bed as soon as he got back to his room, not even bothering to wash up. Mingyu, who shared a room with him dropped by to grab a jacket and hoped to convince him to come with the others.

**Mingyu:** Hyung! Last chance! I heard Jeonghan-hyung is buying sushi. You sure you don’t wanna tag along?

**Woozi:** It’s okay mingyu, I’m too tired to go out anyways. Go have fun and tell me all about it when you get back.

**Mingyu:** Alright, if ever you need us or want to catch up, just call! Seungcheol hyung and Jun Hyung are staying back home anyways so at least you’re not alone.

With that, Mingyu left the room and ran to the van where the other members were waiting. He would’ve wanted to go, but it was getting late and he needed to be home before the “deadline” came. As soon as he was sure the van left, and he confirmed Seungcheol and Jun were in their respective rooms, he rummaged through his closet for his secret box. It was almost 10pm, almost time. Things have been getting worse these past few days, and it wasn’t working as effectively, he thought. He would have to use his break to figure out a new way. He took it out a plain white box and unclasped the hook securing it. He took out the pill bottle and stared at it in horror as he realised it was empty. He had been so busy preparing for this album that he completely forgot to fill it. He thought he had enough to last until the break. Then he remembered, a few weeks ago, when the deadline for the final drafts was pushing and he only had half of the tracks finished. The longer, the harder, he worked, the more the pain creeped through. He took several more than he should that week, unconsciously, hoping that the pain would subside enough to keep him going. It worked, but the effectiveness wore off significantly.

He picked up his cellphone and immediately dialed his doctor, hoping to reach him at this time, but to no avail. He ran to the kitchen dialing the clinic’s landline, hoping that the nurse kept the extra prescriptions his doctor kept just in case he had to make an emergency trip abroad. But that was a bust too. Suddenly the pain shot through, attacking every part of his body. He struggled to keep it in, lest he risk Seungcheol and Jun finding out. But it was too much tonight. And this time, he didn't have the resources to fight back.

He somehow managed to make it to his room and he collapsed onto the floor. He tried to move, but the pain paralyzed him. He had to get on his bed before Mingyu came back and found him in that state. After a while the pain got too bad and he blacked out. All of a sudden the pain turned into a gentle cool feeling and his dark room was surrounded by a gentle breeze, almost as if the pain was being lifted. What he didn’t notice was that he knocked down a lamp as he fell down. He also didn’t notice that Jun left his room the exact time it did, and came in to check what that noise was. He didn’t notice Jun’s screaming, the ambulance lights minutes after that, Seungcheol frantically calling their manager, the other members rushing back as soon as they heard what happened, Mingyu’s arms lifting his frail body, and Chan finding the empty pill bottle in the secret box that was kept in the closet. All he felt was the cool breeze in the once dark room and the pain being washed away.


	2. Chapter 2

“Malignant Lymphoma”, that’s what the doctor called it. “And by the looks of it, it’s been going on for a while. The pills you found are the maintenance meds but they can only do so much. It’s spread, slowly, but it’s spread. We’ll try our best to help him fight this but it looks like he might not be able to be on stage with you for a while.”

All twelve boys sat bunched together in the VIP waiting room at Seoul General Hospital. It’s been hours since Woozi was rushed to the hospital and all of them refused to leave unless they knew he was okay. A nurse came in with another doctor and introduced him to the bunch.

“Hello, I’m Doctor Han. I’m a private Oncologist and I’ve been treating Jihoon in private. I guess it’s no use keeping it a secret now since you all saw what happened.

**Jeonghan:** When did this start? How come we don’t know anything? Mingyu you share a room with him, how could you not know!

Jeonghan glared at an already teary-eyed mingyu with such a fury the whole room turned icy. Dokyeom took Jeonghan outside to get some fresh air to cool off.

**Dr Han:** It’s no one’s fault. The only ones who knew were me and the nurse tending to him. He had to beg us to keep it a secret from his family and most especially, you guys. He refused in-clinic treatments, as it would mean he wouldn’t be able to work in the studio and be on stage. By law, it’s the patient’s decision. I’m sorry I couldn’t do much to convince him otherwise. He’s been taking maintenance medicines since November of last year but I’m afraid the cancer is spreading and his body is getting weaker. Considering the amount of strain his body has been going through, I think it’s best to prepare yourselves.

Silence filled the room as the tears everyone has been suppressing slowly started to come. Dokyeom and Jeonghan came back to this scene and they were quickly filled in. All twelve boys now sat huddled in each other’s embrace, not sure of what to do. Seungcheol took the first step and talked to the doctors about possible treatment plans.

**Doctor Han:** There’s still hope. It’s a good thing he’s been regularly taking his meds so the spread wasn’t as bad as it could be. Though it’s best to talk to Jihoon about this first. He’s conscious now and if you want, I can take you to see him. But not all of you.

Seungcheol and Jeonghan were taken away from the room, leaving the rest of the boys in a sobbing puddle in the middle of the waiting room. The two oldest linked hands as they entered Woozi’s room and tried their best to stay together as they saw him hooked to various machines and monitors, beeping as to tell them he’s still alive, still fighting. Woozi tried to get up and faintly called to them

**Woozi:** H-hyung…I’m so sorry

**Jeonghan:** Shhhh, it’s okay. you’re here and you’re alright. that’s all that matters

**Woozi:** but the album, what are we going to do?

**Scoups:** I’ll send it over to Bumzu-hyung and he can finish it. As for promotions, I have yet to talk to the company about it but don’t even think about skipping out on treatments for this again. We’ll do what we can with this comeback but we can’t lose you. You have to get better, we’re only at five years.

**Jeonghan:** He’s right. Remember our grand 10-year anniversary plan. We’re gonna need all hands on deck so don’t even think about skipping out. No slackers allowed.

They did their best to lift up the mood but even they found it hard to keep it together. Woozi stared into their eyes, already trying to fight back the tears coming. It hurt him to see them like this, it hurt him more because it was his fault.

**Woozi:** Where are the others? Do they know I’m here?

**Jeonghan:** They’re downstairs in the waiting room. They weren’t allowed to come since its so late and their noise might disturb the other rooms.

His heart broke again. They should’ve been resting, celebrating, anything but being here. He was sure Seungkwan and Soonyoung were crying their eyes out and felt deep regret that all of them had to find out this way. At that moment, Dr. Han stepped into the room.

**Dr. Han:** Hi guys, I’m afraid it’s time to go. Your manager asked me to tell you that it’s time to go home before the press finds out you’re here and make it difficult for everyone. I promise I’ll contact you when it’s safe to come and visit again.

With that, the Seungcheol and Jeonghan held each one of woozi’s hands and stared at each other, as if by letting go, they won’t see him ever again. Eventually they hugged him one last time and quietly left the room, leaving Woozi alone with Dr. Han.

**Dr. Han:** Well not that they know, would you consider taking the treatment now?

**Woozi:** If I don’t how much longer will I have to live.

Dr. Han sighed. This boy was already weak as it is, but he definitely still had his fight.

**Dr. Han:** Given how much your cancer has spread, I’d give it half a year. The album can wait Jihoon, think of your members. If you don’t take it now, you’d be ridding them of several more albums in the future.

Woozi thought it over. As much as he still wanted to keep producing music; inside, he was tired. He imagined himself on a beach, just laying and relaxing by the pool. Not having to think about anything, worry about any deadlines, or wake up early just to go to production meetings. When he first found out, he knew he didn’t have long so he made plans to teach some of the other boys how to produce music after their anniversary promotions wrapped up. Tonight just sort of sped up the process.

**Woozi:** Can you give me some time to think it over?

**Dr. Han:** I can give you until tomorrow night at the latest. But I urge you to think it over, Jihoon. You still have so much ahead of you.

With that, Dr. Han left the room and Woozi was left alone, monitors beeping filling up the silence. He was lost in his thoughts unsure of what to do. “Is 6 months enough?” he thought.

Deep in his mind he thought, _maybe it had to be_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any misinformation. :( I'm not a medical professional but I tried to make it as accurate as I can! Feel free to leave me any comments. :)


	3. Interlude: Mingyu

He stood in the middle of his room; the stiff, cold wind drifting through, as to remind him of how empty it was. Mingyu stood still in the exact spot he found Jeonghan cradling a pale and seemingly lifeless Woozi. He stood the way he was now, frozen as if his legs would gave way the minute he moved. Outside, Seungcheol was frantically trying to reach their manager while an equally frantic Jun was running around trying to find something to wake Woozi up.

He reached the dorm first, with the others a few steps behind him. They were about to finish their first round of drinks when the call came. Jun, who was always calm and collected, was frantically trying to explain the situation. The 10 minutes drive between the dorm and where they drank was filled with several tears and anxious calls trying to reach those left at the dorm. He reached their room before anyone else did, before they all piled through. Others stood like him, others ran to help Jun.

Then everything went silent. He no longer heard the rush of people trying to get in the small room with him, the hands trying to wake Woozi up, Seungcheol yelling at everyone to get out and give him some space. It was only him and Woozi in that room, just like how it is every night.

It was just the two of them. Every night when Woozi would get home, tired from a night of producing, it was Mingyu who made sure he had fresh, clean sheets to crash on. Or the times Mingyu would be bugged down by mean comments on the internet, it would be Woozi who would stay up, talk, and play games with him until he forgot. It was just the two of them in that room, yet Mingyu never knew. He never saw the white box, or the pills, or the sickness that weighed Woozi down.

All he saw was his hyung, who didn’t mind sharing a room with a light sleeper, who made sure he ate on time, and kept him company when he was cleaning.

The sounds of the ambulance came after and in one quick motion, Mingyu swept Woozi up in his arms. He seemed smaller than usual, frail; as if one wrong move might break him. He ran as fast as he can before the paramedics could even reach their dorm. He rode with him all the way to the hospital, refusing to let go of his hand.

In that small space in the back of the ambulance, it was just the two of them again, but he didn’t know if this was the last time there would be just the two of them.

Then he snapped back to reality.

He didn’t bother fighting his tears back, as the memories from the night’s events came rushing through. Wonwoo and Jeonghan stood by the door, watching as his body was shook with sobs. They offered to let Mingyu sleep in their rooms so he wouldn’t have to spend the night alone. But Mingyu couldn’t bring himself to sleep anywhere else.

He asked to be left alone and as soon as they left, Mingyu took a couple of fresh sheets from the linen closet and changed Woozi’s sheets.

_He’ll kill me if the sheets aren’t fresh_ , he thought. _He’s going to come back soon, he has to_.

He stayed up all night, tossing and turning in bed. Waiting for his hyung to come back home crash on the one beside him; waiting to see if he comes back at all.


	4. Chapter 4

The remnants of last night’s events still lay freshly strewn across the apartment when they came back. Some sulked back into their rooms, others cleaned up the mess they left behind. It was half past 3 in the morning when the events of the day slowly started to die down and everyone retreated into their rooms to get some rest.

Outside of the dorms, news started to spread like wildfire thanks to a couple of sasaeng fans who were camped outside of the seventeen dorms and managed to take a picture of a frantic Mingyu rushing a lifeless Woozi into the back of an ambulance. The front lobby of their apartment was completely filled with reporters and countless messages were blowing up their phones. They spent most of the morning with their phones off, televisions off, completely cut off from the world with only the occasional visit from their manager being their only source of information. 

The morning started early and although the sun was shining exceptionally bright, the aura in the apartment couldn’t be any darker. Some boys took to cleaning the house and doing chores, others holed themselves up in their rooms and slept through it all. Wonwoo and Jeonghan took turns trying to get Mingyu to eat something or at the very least, move from his bed. They were all trying to deal with something they didn’t know how to fix.

Mingyu spent all night scrubbing down every inch of their room, double checking to make sure he didn’t miss a spot. The others didn’t dare step in the room unless they wanted to be yelled at. they took turns watching over him, muttering how it was his fault; that maybe he it was because didn’t keep the room clean enough. All the others can do was watch from the door, allowing Mingyu to eventually tire himself out and crawl back into his own bed.

It was a little after noon when an exhausted Manager Jeon came in through the door. He walked in to several mattresses scattered across the living room floor. The boys from the other apartment transferred, insisting on sleeping together until things go back to normal. He briefed them all on the statement the company was about to release, asking them if any of them had anything else to add. He then told them the process about what’s to happen. At that point, the anniversary album was indefinitely postponed and all the members local and international schedules for the next week were cancelled for the time-being. 

After an hour of questions and discussions, Manager Jeon’s phone was ringing. 

It was the hospital.

Woozi had a heart attack. 

He rushed out the door with instructions to the boys to stay put and not leave the premises under any circumstances. Everything happened so fast, they barely had time to react. With their phones still constantly blowing up, they didn’t even dare to touch them let alone call anyone. They stood in the middle of the living room for what seemed like eternity and one by one, ran into each others arms and hugged each other, feeling like if just one of them lets go, Woozi might too.


	5. Chapter 5

The nurses were running around frantic, calling codes and trying to revive Woozi. His organs were so damaged at this point, the maintenance medicines must have been taking a toll on his body. They managed to get him stable and almost immediately rushed him to the ICU. At this point, all hands were on deck. Dr. Han employed the best of South Koreas oncology specialists in trying to come up with a plan to save Woozi. As he was under emergency circumstances, Woozi’s parents have given the go-ahead to proceed with the first round of chemo and dialysis in an attempt to restore function to his kidneys and try to flush out the cancer cells that are rapidly spreading. They knew that as soon as Woozi woke up, it was up to him again to continue treatment or not and the fight would start again.

It took an entire 48 hours of round-the-clock treatment before Woozi finally woke up. When he did, not only did the whole of South Korea know what happened but pretty much half the world was updated with his sickness. The very thing he never wanted to happen was unfolding right behind his eyes and he didn’t know if it was the cancer, or the public knowing what was happening that was making him even sicker. 

As soon as he was able to talk and sit upright, Dr. Han explained to him the next course of treatment and the plan the specialists came up with. Because he is a legal adult, he will have the chance to decide if he were to proceed with the treatment of if he had any specifications he wanted. He informed them of the emergency treatment his parents were able to consent to and how through that a portion of cancer cells reacted positively and if here were to continue, would be cancer-free in about half a year plus a few more for remission and recovery. But he’d have to go through the pain of radiation and chemotherapy, rendering him bedridden and unable to perform or even work for maybe even more than a year. 

The thought of this pained him more than anything. The thought of not being able to face his fans, even through his music, for so long broke him and he started crying then and there. He was wracking his head on what to do. If he were to take the treatment, he wouldn’t be able to work on anything for more than a year. The members, whose futures have so far depended largely on his works, would have to struggle after being left so sudden. The fans, who’ve waited for so long, would have to wait for even longer and they might even grow tired of waiting and leave altogether. But he also thought, if he toughed it out and not go through the pain of chemo, he would have 6 months to make as much songs as he can, songs of every genre that could last for years and years worth of comebacks. The boys would be able to perform until their hair goes grey, but they’ll have to perform without him. 

After giving up trying to persuade him, the doctors and his parents left him to ponder his decisions. As much as he wanted to grow old with his members and the carats, he hated more than anything to let them wait and just take a break so suddenly when his members now had to work twice as hard as they already have been. 

He lay in his hospital bed, staring out the window—hoping for a miracle, a sign of some sort to show up.

As luck may have it. It didn’t take long for one to show up.


	6. Interlude: S.Coups & Mingyu

The next couple of days went by at a snail’s pace. After getting the news that Woozi was awake and stable again, the boys succumbed to exhaustion and one-by-one started to retreat back to their respective rooms. As news started to blow up and security issues started to increasingly get messy, the managers slowly started to come by less and less and Seungcheol acted the group’s messenger, relaying messages between the group and the company. 

Before he went to bed, he went around to each individual members’ rooms to check out how they’re doing. Jeonghan let Mingyu sleep in his room so he could watch over him. DK and The8 shared a room as well because they didn’t want to be alone. He went around telling everyone he would keep his door open if anyone needed him. As he reached the las room, Jun, Seungkwan, and Dino’s room, he noticed their youngest was missing.

**Seungcheol:** Hey guys, where’s Chan?

**Seungkwan:** Oh— he was here just a minute ago! Maybe he went to the bathroom. 

He looked through all the bathrooms and still couldn’t find Dino. He asked all the boys awake but no one has seen him. Fearing the worst, he went to grab his phone to call the manager when he heard a subtle sobbing sound from the corner of the kitchen. He tiptoed just a bit past the kitchen and found Dino sitting in the corner of the laundry room sobbing over a cupcake. 

**Seuncheol:** Channie? are you okay? Hey there, what’s the matter.

Seungcheol stroked the back of the younger’s back until he calmed down enough to speak.

**Chan:** It’s alright hyung. I just came out because I was hungry and saw this cupcake and it reminded me of the time Woozi hyung took me out to eat when I was sad over failing an exam. 

Seungcheol looked down at the boy who stopped crying and was picking at the paper lining of the cupcake. He gave him a hug and helped him get up.

**Seungcheol:** Alright, there there. Just finish up your cupcake and go back to your room. Make sure to drink water after or else the sugar would ruin your throat. 

The two sat in the kitchen for a while and talked before they headed back to their respective rooms. 

Seungcheol plopped down on his bed the moment he came back and sighed loudly. Wonwoo, who was scrolling through news article on his phone, looked up and tried to talk to Seungcheol.

**Wonwoo:** Hyung, what’s wrong? Did anything happen to the members? Did anything happen to Jihoon?

**Seungcheol:** Nah, everyone’s good. I just got back from talking to Dino. Poor boy crying over a cupcake because it reminded him of when Jihoon took him out to eat when he failed an exam back then.

**Wonwoo:** What? Why would that remind him of that time? Jihoon took him out to eat Kimchi Jjigae. That’s literally the polar opposite of a cupcake.

**Seungcheol:** What?? Really? 

**Wonwoo:** I remember it clearly. I felt bitter after finding out as I was telling everyone how much I was craving Kimchi Jjigae that day. And as far as I can remember that was the only time Chan ever failed an exam. 

Seungcheol stared at the ceiling after hearing what Wonwoo said “ _Then why was he crying over a cupcake?”_

He brushed it off thinking the exhaustion was just getting to Dino’s mind. As he left to wash up for the night his phone beeped, indicating that he received a message. He picked it up to see that he received a message from Dino’s little brother. 

“ _Seungcheol Hyung! I hope I didn’t wake you. Anyways, I’m just messaging to ask if Chan-hyung got my surprise cupcake! He should know by now but he hasn’t messaged me about it… I asked Manager Jeon to sneak it into his wardrobe without anyone seeing but I’m afraid if he hasn’t seen it, it might just be collecting ants. Anyways, please wish him a Happy Birthday from me and let everyone know Our parents and I are praying for Woozi-hyung. I hope you’re all okay over there. Just let us know if you need anything~_ ”

Seungcheol’s eyes widened and he ran back into his room.

**Seuncheol:** YA WONWOO! What’s the date today?

**Wonwoo:** The date? Well it’s past midnight now so February 12. Why do you ask? What— OH!.. oh my god.. we forgot..

The two looked at each other in shock. Everyone was so busy and sad over what was happening with Woozi and trying to work around it that they completely missed Dino’s birthday. They messaged the other members, except for Dino who by then had cried himself to sleep, and quickly hatched a plan. 

The next morning brought with it the sun shining through the windows. Dino rubbed his eyes, swollen from all the crying, and found himself alone in his room. Odd, he thought. Jun was always the last one to wake up and as far as he knew, Seungkwan wasn’t cleared to attend his schedules yet. He stepped out to the living room, finding Mingyu cooking up breakfast, and Joshua spread out on the couch watching some obscure fishing show. Nothing unusual so far. He greeted the both of them and went through his morning routine. A little while later, Wonwoo called him into his room and asked him to play video games with him.

They sat down on the computers adjacent to each other in the living room when 10 minutes in, Wonwoo left to go get a drink. Dino played on when suddenly the screen in front of him started freezing and shifted. Thinking he broke it, he was about to run out of the room when Seungcheol’s face popped up on screen.

**Seungcheol:** Maknae-ah. Surprised? We know it’s a day late but we hope we can make it up to you. One by one, the members faces showed on screen with short but sweet messages with Smile Flower. His hyungs stayed up all night to make this video and, unbeknownst to him, were standing at the doorway, peering to see his reactions. He couldn’t help but tear up and when he saw their faces smushed together at the doorway, he started bawling. They all quickly piled up into the small room and wrapped him up in a big hug. They stayed like that for a while before they eventually had to let go to give him some air. 

**Jeonghan:** Dino, we’re sorry we forgot your birthday. You had to go through what would’ve been a happy day, all alone. 

**Dino:** It’s okay hyung. I didn’t want to celebrate it anyways with everything that’s been going on; it didn’t feel right to. Jihoon hyung is back in the hospital fighting for his life while I’m here not doing much to keep mine. I wasn’t crying because everyone forgot my birthday, I was guilty that Here I am turning another year older, healthier than ever, yet I couldn’t do anything to help Jihoon Hyung when he did nothing wrong to deserve what he’s going through.

**Hoshi:** Yah, Lee Chan. Don’t think that way. No one’s to blame. Jihoon wouldn’t like it that you’re being all sad hours right now when he needs all of us to be strong for him. As much as we want to help, there’s not much we can do. 

Dino looked to all his hyungs, all of them trying their best not to cry. The silence weighed on them like a ton of bricks slowly burying them. Seungcheol cleared his throat and broke the silence. 

**Seungcheol:** So can i give my surprise now?

The boys looked at their leader; half surprised, half perplexed. 

**Seungcheol:** So you know how we’re not supposed to leave this place, well that’s gonna change a tiny bit. I spent all morning practically begging the company to let a few of us out. So this afternoon after lunch, a few of us would get to go visit Jihoon in the hospital. One of them would be you. Since Seokmin and Hansol’s birthdays are coming up, I managed to convince them to let them go as well.

For the first time in what seemed like forever, they had something to be excited about. Dino was the one who suggested they spend the rest of the morning writing letters to Jihoon and packing him a care package. There was a flurry of activity inside the small apartment, with others making letters and packing Woozi’s favorite pajamas and all his favorite little things to take with them when they visit. In the kitchen. Seungcheol stood in the middle watching his boys have fun for the first time in a long while. He looked at Dino arguing with Seungkwan over who gets to use the glue gun first. Next to them, The8, Hoshi, and, Vernon were making all sorts of paintings and colorful banners to decorate Woozi’s hospital room. Wonwoo and Jeonghan were in his room packing a bag filled with his essentials. Meanwhile, Mingyu and Jun were in the kitchen making Dino a birthday meal while also trying to sneak food peels down each others shirts when the other wasn’t looking. Seungcheol laughed and stopped them before it could evolve into a full-fledged food fight. He looked over them, proud and sad and the same time.

For the first time in a long time, things seemed normal. But it still didn’t feel whole. Everyone was doing their best to continue on with their tasks without having this big Woozi-shaped hole depressing them every single minute. He hoped from now on, the boys would look and be more optimistic and positive, but at the same time he hoped they wouldn’t get used to this life; one where the Woozi-shaped hole was permanent.


	7. Chapter 7

Woozi woke up to Seungcheol’s text informing him that Dino, DK, and Vernon were getting the chance to come over to celebrate their birthdays with him. The excitement of seeing even a small fraction of the boys immediately gave him an energy boost and even the nurses were surprised to see him finish an entire meal and walk around by himself. By mid-morning, he seemed almost back to normal. Dr. Han thought it was best if he took a walk to go get some fresh air. 

The nurses led him to an enclosed garden area where only the patients of the cancer ward can enter. After reassuring them that this place is secure and no paparazzi would even get close to coming in here. He walked around for a bit until he found a spot near the back, secluded enough to hide in case a sasaeng fan or paparazzi would sneak in pretending to be a patient. He lay down on a bench and let the cold breeze lull him to sleep. 

He woke up from his nap a few minutes later and found a small hand tugging at the edge of his hospital pajamas. He looked down to see a little girl looking back up at her in hospital pajamas similar to his but in kids size.

**Woozi:** Hi there. What’s your name? Are you lost?

**Little Girl:** Hi! My name is Miyoung! No I’m not! My parents have to work and my sister’s at school. You looked lonely so I thought I’d come over in case you wanted to play! You look new here ahjussi! What’s your name?

**Woozi:** Yah! Ahjussi? I’m not that much older than you. Just call me Woozi. Woozi oppa.

**Miyoung:** Woozi oppa! What brings you here?

**Woozi:** My guess is same as yours? 

**Miyoung:** You have leukemia too?

**Woozi:** Not exactly but similar. 

**Miyoung:** Oh! Well I hope you don’t stay long. The doctors and nurses are all nice and all but chemo hurts a lot and it gets boring since were not allowed to mingle with the other patients in other wards. But it’s okay. If you’re bored I can teach you all the tricks and tips of the cancer ward! I know every nook and cranny of this place!

**Woozi:** what? how do you know? How long have you been here?

**Miyoung:** I just celebrated my 3rd year last month! You should call me sunbaenim!

Woozi looked at the bubbly little girl with a mix of shock, awe, and pity. This little girl has been through so much at such a young age yet she’s so happy and optimistic. He looked back at himself and shrunk in guilt for being so moody about his situation when here’s a little girl who’s life has been taken away from here before she could live it.

**Woozi:** Miyoung-ah. You’ve been here a long time. How come you haven’t gotten better?

**Miyoung:** It’s alright. At least I’m alive! And it’s not all bad. And plus I’ve heard from other patients that compared to other hospitals, ours has the best food. So really, things could be worse.

The two of them talked for what seemed like hours. Woozi told her stories about his own childhood and his favorite moments with his members. She in turn told her all about her favorite things and her memories of hanging out with his sister. 

**Miyoung:** You should meet her someday! She’s about your age and she makes music too! But she’s more of a classical theatre kind of person. She makes the best jokes and makes me laugh even when I’m sick from all the chemo. 

**Woozi:** That sounds great! I could use more friends in here. The nurses are nice and all but they don’t really have time to sit and strike up a conversation and my members and family can’t always be around due to security issues. 

Just then a bell rang through the garden area and nurses came in to collect their wards.

**Miyoung:** That bell means it’s lunch time! I better hurry back before my nurse goes frantic looking for me. This place is kind of hidden so no one really comes here. But this is a great hiding spot! Can we call this our spot?

**Woozi:** Alright then. Go ahead before you get in trouble. Let’s meet again same time same place tomorrow?

**Miyoung:** Deal! Bye Woozi-oppa!

**Woozi:** Bye Miyoung!

Woozi watched her run away, pigtails bouncing as she struggled to pick up the pace with her tiny legs. Woozi chuckled. She reminded him of Chan and all the times he’d pop by his room and just start animatedly rambling on about the widest things. He’s glad at least he finally had someone to talk to. That’s when he remembered, Chan, DK, and Vernon were visiting him that afternoon.

He struggled to get back on his feet. his nurse came over and together they walked slowly back to his room.

**Woozi:** Hey Nurse Choi, did you see a little girl with pigtails run by here a while ago?

**Nurse Choi:** I don’t know Jihoon, the cancer ward holds a lot of little kids. Some have been here since they were born.

Woozi was shocked to here. That statistic etched into his mind, constantly bothering him. Here he is complaining about missing out on performing on stage when other little kids like Miyoung don’t even have the choice. It was definitely a thought to ponder on and would factor in his decision whether or not to take the treatment.

His train of thought was interrupted when Dino, Dk, and Vernon came bursting in his room, arms overflowing with all sorts of banners, colored papers, and stuffed toys. They spent the rest of the day catching up, laughing, and slowly the bleak hospital walls around him started to disappear and for a moment, Woozi forgot he was even sick.


	8. Chapter 8

It’s been almost 4 hours since they arrived at the hospital. 

After sneaking through the back doors of the hospital, dressing up in what they think were low-key disguises and doing their best to evade the paparazzi and hoards of sasaeng fans, the three members managed to make it to Woozi’s room without running into any trouble; just a few frazzled nurses and an equally frazzled but amused Dr. Han. They burst in to the room falling into a pile in front of a confused Woozi who was trying his best not to laugh too hard.

They talked, facetimed the other members, played an insane amount of boardgames, and spent the rest of the day like they would if they were back in their apartment.

As the night quickly approached, the atmosphere in the room slowly died down and the energy quickly turned mellow. As they were eating dinner, Woozi noticed Dino sitting in the corner, being unusually quiet.

**Woozi:** Chan what’s wrong? You barely touched your food. 

Dino looked up, trying his best to sound calm and not sob. 

**Dino:** Hyung, I know we’re not supposed to say anything and we promised not to talk about it while we were here. But have you considered taking the treatment yet? 

DK nudged Dino before he could keep talking and noticed Woozi staring at them; tension rife in his eyes.

**DK:** He’s right you know hyung, We know you don’t want to do it because you don’t want to disappoint everyone and freeload but whats a year or 2 of rest compared to a lifetime without you. 

**Vernon:** Yea, we could tide things over by then. Some of us could go on variety shows, we could promote with subunits, we could even go to the military early! Plus Bumzu hyung and Baekhyo hyung are always there to help. It’s high time we learned how to make songs anyway.

**Woozi:** So what you’re saying is, you don’t need me anymore.

All three of them stared at him in shock. Woozi fought hard to fight back the tears. He was tired and didn’t mean to snap at the boys but the stress of everything was getting to him. There was something the boys didnt know but he couldn’t find it in his heart to tell them.

**Chan:** H-hyung, it’s not like that, what we mean is-

**Woozi:** I know i know but face it, you guys have been so great. And I’m proud, I really Chan, you’re beginning to produce somegreat tracks, DK has been doing great with vocal arrangements, and Hansol’s basically a one man lyric writing machine.

**Vernon:** Hyung, it’s only because you taught us everything we know.

**DK:** Yea! We can’t even imagine having half of your talent.

**Chan:** Hyungwe need you, we all do. The group, the company, everyone at Prismfiltr, the fans, what would we be without you.

**Woozi:** Oh so now you’re saying everything relies on me? That if things go south, it’s on my shoulders?

**DK:** Hyung, what’s wrong with you? Of course not! What we mean is that we won’t be complete without you! Without anyone, at that. We need you, we need each other. 

Dr. Han who was silently listening to the boys outside decided to intervene before a fight broke out. He enters the room just as things start to get heated.

**Dr. Han:** Alright boys that’s enough. I think it’s time to let Jihoon here get some rest. Why don’t you say your goodbyes; your manager is waiting for you in the parking lot.

The four of them hugged it out and whispered goodbyes, as if their fight just minutes before never happened. Woozi left messages for the others and the three younger ones quietly left the room, stealing backwards glances as they did. Dr. Han closed the door behind him and sat down beside Woozi.

**Dr. Han:** You know as your doctor, I should be persuading you to take further treatment but considering I’ve already been telling you about it for the past year, it’s high time for you to make your own decisions.

**Woozi:** Whether or not I take it I still suffer anyways. The boys can handle themselves without me. 

Dr. Han looked at him with puzzled eyes.

**Dr Han:** You know, I’ve known you for a year now and what I gathered through our whole journey together, you’re not one to give up that easily. This isn’t about whether or not they need you isn’t it? Tell me Jihoon, what’s really on your mind?

Dr. Han was met with a steely gare and deafening silence/ Knowing he wouldn’t get an answer. he left to attend to his other patients. Woozi stared out the window, rain slowly drizzling, tapping the window pane as it gets stronger. He digs out his backpack he had his manager bring from his room and takes out a shoebox. He opens it up and stares at all teh hate letters antis sent him, each one detailing how he doesn’t fit in and threatening to end the group if he doesn’t leave. It’s been a while since they started coming in but he never threw them out for fear of Mingyu finding them when he sorts out the trash. 

He stares at them one by one, a mixture of rage and fear slowly building up inside of him. He hasn’t been online since he entered the hospital but he can only imagine these getting worse. 

_An easy way out_ , he whispers to himself. _It’s better for everyone if i just…disappear._

He sighs and hops off the bed to find a better hiding place for the box lest he risk someone finding it while he’s asleep. He found a tiny concealed space behind his the wardrobe and shoves it far enough to keep it our of sight. He climbs back into bed, drifts off to sleep staring at all the get well cards and banners the boys hung around the room, and dreams of a time when happiness was all he knew.


	9. Chapter 9

It was half past 9 in the morning when Woozi woke up to a gentle knocking on his door. He looked up to see Miyoung peeking through, gesturing to him to come outside. Sleepy but unable to refuse. he found himself being pulled to their little spot in the garden where Miyoung had a little picnic set up.

**Miyoung:** I hope you like sandwiches cus that’s all I know how to make.

Woozi smiled as he looked down at the little girl and proceeded to spend his morning enthralled in her stories. For someone who spent a majority of her life in the hospital, she sure had a lot to say. 

It wasn’t long before his nurse found him and came to pick him up. He looked back to see Miyoung had run away. _I can’t blame her_ , he thought to himself. _I would run away too, if i can._

Then began a whole day of maintenance treatment, each more grueling than the next. 

**Woozi:** This isn’t even the whole cure yet, imagine if I had to go through that.

**Nurse:** You know Jihoon, it only takes one signature and you can turn that thought into reality.

Woozi shot her a glare warning her to keep her opinions to herself. 

Eventually, he is given the green light to go back to his room and rest. He decided to take the longer way back, opting to walk instead of being wheeled back so he could at least stretch his legs a little bit. He walked through the hallways, staring into rooms, wondering what stories each of the patients held. He was lost in his thoughts when he heard it, a familiar sound he heard countless times. 

The click of the camera was faint but it was a sound he could recognize from a mile away. It continued and he turned trying to find the source of the clicking. His gaze landed on a hooded figure, walking awkwardly just a few meters from him with a camera obviously tucked into his jacket. He began to approach the figure when he suddenly bolted out of sight. He stood there shocked, not knowing what to do. Dr. Han’s voice suddenly snapped him back to reality. 

**Dr. Han:** Jihoon? What are you doing here, aren’t you supposed to be in your room? Anyways let’s go back together, I was supposed to visit you anyways for rounds.

Dr. Han draped his arm around Woozi’s shoulders and led him back. As they walked, he stoled sideways glances and backwards stares, looking to see if the mysterious figure was following them.

He sat on the bed as Dr. Han read through his charts. 

**Dr. Han:** It’s not getting better but at least it hasn’t gotten worse, for today at least. But we don’t have much time left, Jihoon. Pretty soon it’ll be incurable all-together. 

**Woozi:** I know, I just need a little bit more time to think it over.

**Dr. Han:** I assure you I’ll do my very best to save your life but you have to let me while I still can. 

Dr. Han knew it was pointless to argue. The boy has just been through hours of therapy and must be exhausted. He decided to leave it at that and try again after he had a bit of rest.

**Dr. Han:** I’ll be back around dinner. Oh! By the way! A package arrived for you at my clinic. It may be from one of your fans. How sweet. 

Dr. Han handed him a silver wrapped box and Woozi set it down on his bedside table. Exhausted, he took a nap and woke up to the moon glaring through his window. He woke up groggily as the nurse came in to bring him dinner. He tried to make space for it on his bedside table when he remembered the package Dr. Han dropped off for him, he set it down on his lap and opened it up as soon as the nurse left. 

Inside were a bunch of photographs. They were face down so he couldn’t tell what they were but the sinking feeling in his stomach knew what was coming. Even in the safety of the hospital he can’t escape. He turned them over and almost screamed at what he saw. They were pictures of DK, Vernon, and Dino on the day they came to visit him, their faces crossed out with bright red marker. He saw the letter at the bottom of the package and instantly fought to keep his tears in. 

**_It’s either them or you_ **

He tried his best to breathe normally, his heart racing as his tears threatened to overflow. Just in time, Dr. Han opened the door to Jihoon scrambling to hide the package.

**Dr. Han:** Hey, what you got there? And why are your eyes so swollen?

**Woozi:** Nothing! Just a sad dream. 

**Dr. Han:** uh huh. Sure Jihoon. Anyways, procedure. I need to take your blood pressure so hand me your arm. As soon as he lifted Woozi’s arm, a stack of photographs fell to the floor. He picked them up and stared back at a panicked Woozi. He tried to not look at them to respect his privacy but accidentally read the letter. 

**Dr. Han:** Jihoon, what’s this? 

He flipped through the photographs and had to sit down at the shock of what they contained.

**Dr. Han:** Jihoon… How long has this been going on?

At this point, Jihoon knew he couldn’t hide it any longer. He burst out into tears giving Dr. Han the gist of everything as best as he could through muffled sobs. He showed him the rest of the contents in the shoebox hidden behind the wardrobe. 

**Dr. Han:** Was this in the package I handed over to you earlier? Is this why you refuse to get treatment? Oh Jihoon, I’m sorry I wish I could’ve known. Please don’t think it’s your fault. I’ll help you, we’ll find a way.

**Woozi:** Please don’t tell anyone. Especially the members. I don’t want anyone blaming themself.

Dr. Han was at a standstill. He never dealt with a situation like this but knew he had to at least try his best to comfort and save his patient.

**Dr. Han:** Tell you what. I’ll take this case on myself. My brother in law is a private investigator, I’ll ask him to look into this. I’ll have to tell the head nurse too, so she coud keep a look out at your dear in case someone tries to come and attack you. I promise you us three would be the only ones to know.

**Woozi:** I appreciate it Dr. Han but-

**Dr. Han:** No buts, Jihoon. You are my patient and it is my duty to serve you to the best of my abilities. For now, I’d advise you to stay in this room at all times; no leaving. I’ll ask the head nurse to conduct your maintenance treatment in this room instead of going to the ward. I’ll have answers hopefully within the week and by then i hope you have an answer for me as well. As you know, time is ticking.

Woozi could do nothing but agree. On the inside though, he was slightly relieved. He had another set of eyes. That night, he slept sounder then he had in weeks.

The next morning came with a light shower and gloomy skies. He tried to venture out of his room but was stopped by the head nurse before he could even step a foot out of the door. He was ushered back in and began another morning of grueling maintenance therapy. 

A little after lunchtime, he saw Miyoung peeking through his door.

**Miyoung:** Man, the security on your door is tight. I barely made it past the head nurse, what gives? Are you in some sort of trouble?

**Woozi:** You could say that.

**Miyoung:** When I get in trouble all my sister does is yell at me. But at least I'm not isolated in my room. How bad could it have been?

Woozi stared out the window, lost in thought. He didn’t have the heart to tell Miyoung. She was still young, jaded. 

**Miyoung:** Helloooooo earth to ahjussi! You still here on earth with us?

**Woozi:** Hey miyoung have you ever dealt with bullies?

**Miyoung:** Oh tons! I don’t really get along with the kids here and the kids at school only see me as the sick girl. I get a lot of stares and get called names a lot

**Woozi:** What do you do then? How do you get rid of the people who don’t like you? Or how do you make them like you?

**Miyoung:** You don’t. Really that’s a them problem. I mean, it’s not like I chose to be like this. None of us really chose to be born. We just…were. I try to live the way I do and if they don’t like it than what can i do. I’m not them nor did I grow up like them. What's to say they don’t have their own set of problems.

**Woozi:** But what if they end up hurting the ones you love?

**Miyoung:** hmmm I guess I never really thought of it. My sister’s really the only one I have. Our parents passed away when i was really young and ever since then she worked really hard to pay for my medical bills. Whenever people make fun of her for it, she just brushes it off. She knows she’s doing her best and I’m still alive so it must be working. The important thing is that she doesn’t hide anything from me. She tells me everything. All the insults, all the stares, down to the last gritty details. She lets me know how much I have to fight back to prove them all wrong. 

**Woozi:** She sounds like an amazing girl. 

**Miyoung:** She is! Too bad she’s always busy I would’ve loved for you to meet her!

Suddenly she heard a rustling nearby. 

**Miyoung:** Oh no! It must be dinner time! I have to go ahjussi! I hope your bullies get what they rightfully deserve! 

With that, Woozi watches as she scurries out, taking careful glances as she bolts out the door. He was left alone with Miyoung’s words still running around in his mind. Was it time I talk to the boys? Do they already know and are just trying to hide it from me? Would it be better to hide it?

He let those thoughts run freely in his mind and spent the whole night trying to balance out what was what he thought was the right and wrong things to do. 


	10. Interlude: Hoshi

It’s been weeks since Woozi got officially diagnosed, and as much as they didn’t want to, the boys needed to keep the show going. Seungkwan returned to his variety shows, Mingyu went back to MC-ing, and the rest found guest spots in shows or took lessons to learn more about music.

Hoshi took it upon himself to work on choreography. Day in and day out, sometimes with the performance team, sometimes with the choreographers, often times alone. 

He often staggers into the dorm, pale-faced and obviously exhausted; Looks of concern always pasted across the other members faces. Still they thought it best to just monitor him and leave him to himself for a while. It was a war with himself they knew they couldn’t fight.

One particular night, he came in with a blank look on his face, not even acknowledging Jun laid flat on the carpet.

**Jun:** Ya! Kwon Hoshi! I’m making hotdogs you want some?

He was met with silence followed by doors closing. Jun sighed and knew something was up so he left to go find Seungcheol and talked to him.

Meanwhile Hoshi turned on the tap and drew a bath for himself. _Maybe a bath would help_ , he thought. He absentmindedly slipped into the bath fully clothed and just allowed the hot water to calm his aching muscles. He felt himself falling asleep and slowly slipping into the water.

An hour later, Seungcheol and Jun came back to the dorm to find water slowly seeping out of the door of Hoshi and Vernon’s room. Seungcheol tried to open the door but it was locked and yelled out for Vernon. Jun found him playing video games in DK’s room and quickly ran to get the spare key he hid under Seungkwan’s bed. They all burst into the door to find the floor completely drenched and water just flowing out of the bathroom. 

It took only a few seconds for DK’s screams to alert the entire dorm that there was trouble. Jun lifted the now frail and seemingly lifeless Hoshi and set him down on the floor of the hallway. All the other members were now completely aware of what was happening and crowded the hallway. Some were trying to perform CPR, others were running to get dry clothes, the rest were trying to reach their managers. With the trauma of Jihoon’s near death still fresh everyone was panicking and going out of their minds. 

Jeonghan, the only one who managed to remain calm, quickly took hold of the situation. He took over from Mingyu who was desperately trying to get Hoshi to breath again and started chest compressions. Everything he learned in high school first aid lessons started to come back and he kept a steady pace going. A minute later, Hoshi started sputtering and gasping for breath as water flowed out of his mouth. A collective sigh of relief washed over the rest of the dorm as tensions started to calm. 

Their manager arrived just in time to assess the situation and after a stern refusal from Hoshi to go to the hospital, It was agreed that at least he should get seen by a doctor here at the dorm. A few minutes later, Dr. Han came rushing through the door jus as the boys managed to get Hoshi changed and into some dry clothes. The rest of the boys mopped the floors as Dr. Han examined Hoshi.

**Dr. Han:** Clear breath sounds. It looks like at least you were able to get all the fluid out of his lungs but seeing as there was no sign of struggle, I suggest halting your promotions momentarily and seek psychological counseling. 

Dr. Han tried his best to explain the situation in a calm and gentle manner and assured the boys that nothing that happened will be leaked tonight. He left the number of a trusted psychologists and urged the boys to reach out to him if they ever needed any help. 

**Dr. Han:** You boys sure know how to keep this old man's hands full. Luckily, you all still have each other so let's try to keep it that way. Learn to lean on each other and not hide things. The world is a scary place and we need people to go through it with us.

After a quick pep talk, Dr. Han left the dorm and made the quick car ride back to the hospital. He couldn’t get the image of all the boys he’d watch so powerful and charismatic on stage looking so broken and fragile when they had to go through almost losing two of their members. He thought back to his frightening encounter with Woozi’s package and knew he had to do something quick.

Back at the dorm, Hoshi laid down on a mattress in the living room. Everyone else decided to sleep there as well so they could keep an eye on him. 

**Hoshi:** I’m okay guys, I swear. I just fell asleep.

**Wonwoo:** Yea right, you almost scared us half to death. What did you expect us to do? Just forget about it? 

**Jeonghan:** Wonwoo, give the boy a break. What matters is everyone’s alive, everyone’s safe.

**Hoshi:** Not everyone.

They looked at him with a mix of worry and pity.

**Hoshi:** Jihoon was my best friend. I was with him literally everyday. We ate the same food, We slept at the same times. But i never noticed. I never saw him hurt. If I couldn’t see it with him, how would’ve I seen it with you guys. You all are my brothers and i could never live with the fact that I could’ve done something. I could've caught it earlier and he wouldn't be hurting as much right now. I can’t go through that again, I just can’t.

Seungcheol wrapped his arms around the boy and held him in silence. Everyone else just stared, fighting back tears or not knowing what to say. It was the maknae that broke the silence

**Dino:** You think you were the only one who felt that way? At any given moment any one of us could’ve noticed. But we didn’t. We could’ve helped, it we didn’t know. We’re all on the same boat here so the least we can do is ride it together. 

Hoshi looked at Dino, eyes threatening to overflow. He couldn’t stand to see any of his members troubled, let alone the youngest. 

**Hoshi:** Aigoo, when did our maknae grow up. 

He took Dino by the hand and wrapped him in a hug. 

At that instant, the two of them burst into tears and held on to each other tight; as if letting go was the last thing they wanted to do. Everyone else started bursting into tears and pretty soon all 12 members were just sitting there crying their eyes out.

It took a while before things died down and everyone just ran out of tears and collected themselves. They looked around at each other, seemingly aware that they were all together in the most vulnerable moment. But they found strength in knowing that even at their lowest, they were all still together. After a massive group hug later, they all started to fall asleep one by one until it was just Hoshi and Dino awake.

**Dino:** Hyung do you think we’re going to be alright?

**Hoshi:** I don’t know. Better maybe. But alright seems like a long time away.

**Dino:** Do you think things will go back to normal?

**Hoshi:** I dont think we’ll be able to go back to normal but I don’t think it’ll be bad. We’ll just have to keep making our new normal.

**Dino:** If Woozi hyung were here, he would’ve slapped you for making such a cheesy comment like that.

**Hoshi:** Well I guess you’ll have to do it for him while he’s not here. He can make up for it when he gets back.

A few moments later, Dino finally falls asleep leaving Hoshi alone with his thoughts. He stares out the window to a full moon shining bright on the boys all huddled up, barely fitting in the small space. He closed his eyes and made a silent wish to the stars. He made a promise that from now on, he’d do what it takes to keep his band of brothers together. And to do so, he’d need to be stronger. Only this time, he knew better than to keep it to himself. He had his tribe, his band of brothers to keep fighting with him. And he was going to face their new normal head on, with them by his side. He almost felt excited, relieved that that war was over. For the first time in weeks, he felt like he could finally breathe.

He said a silent sorry for his moment of weakness and knew he had to ready himself for all the slaps he’s going to get once Woozi finds out.


	11. Chapter 11

He felt stuck, like piece of gum on the bottom of a tire, turning and turning with no way to stop being hurt. 

Day in and day out, Woozi stuck to the exact same routine; Therapy and treatment in the morning, self-reflection for the rest of the day. Worst of all, he was no longer allowed out of his room. Even if sometimes, Miyoung managed to break in sometimes, he still felt rather alone. DK and Hansol’s birthday visit was the last he’s seen or heard from any of the boys and the silence was driving him insane. He went from a house filled with 12 boys who slept at all different times to waking up and going to sleep with only the sounds of his monitors beeping to keep him company.

He had about a week until he had to make a final decision but he couldn't deny that the thought of the antis possible hurting the boys all because of him was getting to his mind more than it should’ve.

The night time was when it hit the worse. He would wake up screaming from nightmares of his anti-fan somehow sneaking into his room and injecting poison into his bloodstream. Other times, he’d imagine the others being attacked in a multitude of ways and all he could do was sit and watch. The mornings were then filled with the nurses walking on eggshells lest they risk a screaming fit or catching him on one of his regular irritable moods.

Dr. Han knew everything was taking a toll on him and his medications must've been causing him to hallucinate and become irritable. As much as the disease was taking a toll on Woozi’s body, his mental state was deteriorating as well.

He decided to set up a visitation for the members, in hopes that it’ll lift Woozi's spirits and he’d finally agree to undergoing life-saving treatment.

The plan was simple. 

It was to be a surprise visit, after lunch when Woozi was most awake and least grumpy. The boys were cleared to stay for the rest of the day and in that timeframe they were to try to subtly convince him to go forward with more aggressive and possibly last-chance treatment. That way they’d get time with Woozi, Woozi’s spirits would be lifted leading to a better mental state, and Dr. Han would be able to perform surgery and proceed with treatment before it’s too late.

The next day came and after another morning filled with endless rounds of therapy and maintenance shots, Woozi settled back into his hospital room. Defeated and tired, he ate his lunch sparingly and didn’t even stir when the nurse came in to take his tray away. He was hell bent on staying this way, wondering if this was just the way things were supposed to go.

He slowly started to drift off to sleep when the door to his room slammed open.

**Seungcheol:** Kwon Soonyoung I swear to heavens if you don’t behave while we’re here I will drag you out myself. 

One by one they filed into the room and almost instantly, they settle in like the hospital room was their own apartment.

A fight ensues after DK and Seungkwan battled over who gets to give their gift first which led to a chase around the room. Laughter erupted as Seungcheol did his best to keep the noise down before breaking out in laughter himself. The rest of the boys find seats around the room and starts filling Woozi in about what he missed. It sounded like a normal day back at the seventeen dorm and slowly, Woozi began to smile again. It was until DK accidentally bumped against the wardrobe and it became unhinged and started to topple over. Luckily The8, who was nearby when it happened, and his lightning fast reflexes, managed to hold it just before it toppled over DK. Seungcheol switched back to his stern mode and while the others tried to get the wardrobe back in place, proceeded to lecture the two for not being careful. 

**Seungkwan:** Woah nice reflexes hyung!

 **Wonwoo:** Alright Myeongho! still got it

 **Seungcheol:** Alright guys break it up, we already have enough on our plate, we don't need the hospital suing us for destruction of property

Everyone else was laughing while the older ones trying to get them to put the wardrobe back in place. While everyone was busy trying to put it back, DK caught sight of a shoebox and reached down to pick it up.

**DK:** Huh? what’s this.

Woozi looked towards DK’s direction and before he could stop him, DK yelped, eyes frozen wide open and accidentally dropped the box in horror, the pictures scattering across the floor. 

They all turned their heads as one by one they saw the pictures and began to register what was happening. The silence rang through the room and as they turned to stare at Woozi. He stared back at all 12 of the members and felt his heart sink.


End file.
